The Date Prep Worksheet: a date is just a different kind of 1:1
How I use the 4 Pillars of Compatibility to help clients get better signal on dates
“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” - Seneca
“The date was good. I’m not sure we’re a fit, but I’ll just go on another and see how it goes.”
When a client says this, I ask: How can you get clearer signal on compatibility next time?
The problem with “just vibing”
I see many daters treat early dates like a vibe check and nothing more: no goals, no plan, just hoping clarity will magically appear after “enough” dates.
I see the same people spend weeks (even months) dating someone, only to uncover dealbreakers they could’ve spotted on the first date, had they just prepared a little.
Finding your person isn’t just about recognizing potential early. It’s also about letting go of mismatches sooner.
A date is a data-gathering exercise
Think of it like meeting a potential co-founder. You wouldn’t walk in with zero prep and just “see how it goes.” You’d come with specific questions, a few things you’re curious to learn about, and a clear sense of what matters long term.
Dating is no different.
You’re not conducting an interview, but you are running a high-leverage 1:1. You’re two co-investigators sitting side by side to solve the puzzle: Do we want to build a relationship together?
The Date Prep Worksheet
Before each date, I have clients reflect on the 4 Pillars of Compatibility (GPIE): Goals, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional.
For each, ask yourself:
What data do I already have?
What am I still curious about?
Here's an example to guide you:
[0] Learn how to Hardball to get better signal on Goals compatibility upfront.
Take 5 minutes before your next date to do the Date Prep Worksheet. I’d love to hear how it impacts the quality of your date!
Love,
Joyce ❤️🔥
P.S. 150+ execs from places like OpenAI & Stripe and founders backed by a16z & YC have attended my signature singles event, Hot Feelings. My next events are in Boston (6/14) and SF (6/22). Apply or share with a friend!