"Should I go on another date with them?"
How I help clients get clarity when they're ambivalent
"I don’t know. The date was fine. They seem nice. Should I go on another date with them?”
When a client says this, I turn it back to them:
What data did you get on your compatibility?
Review the 4 compatibility pillars, aka “GPIE”
1️⃣ G - Goals: Did you talk about your relationship and life goals? Did you go a level deeper and ask why these goals are important to them?
2️⃣ P - Physical: Did you engage in physical contact? How did your body feel in their presence?
3️⃣ I - Intellectual: Did you problem solve anything together? Did you ask them for advice on something (even if small)?
4️⃣ E - Emotional: Did you bring up your non-negotiables for how you want to be treated in your future relationship? Which of the 5 levels of communication did you get to?
Assess yourself
If you didn’t explore these GPIE compatibility pillars in depth, you probably need richer data to come to a clearer conclusion on your compatibility (whether a yes or no).
Maybe you talked extensively about your last trip to Japan. That’s great for having a conversation.
However, the difference between a date vs. a friend hang is that you are actively exploring your romantic compatibility together.
Now, ask yourself: Are you curious enough to spend another hour with this person and explore GPIE more intentionally?
Note: You can also create more optimal conditions for having meaningful conversations. You can choose a date spot that’s more suitable for talking. You can take a break from work before heading into your date so you come in refreshed and relaxed.
Take action
On your next date, challenge yourself to gather better data by intentionally exploring the 4 compatibility pillars. Remember GPIE: Goals, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional.
Choose a date environment and time conducive to having a meaningful conversation.
Share with me what happens! I’d love to help you troubleshoot.
Love,
Joyce ❤️🔥